Monday, March 5, 2012

Final Draft Parenting


Walls vs. Real Parents
            The Glass Castle tells a story of a family with two parents who were far from ordinary parents who care and nurture their children. In fact, it can be said that Rex and Rose Mary Walls were, in many ways, unfit parents because they let their children do what they wanted with little guidance and also subjected them many times to squalor and hunger. However, although Rex and Rose Mary were basically dysfunctional parents and could have had their children taken away from them, they obviously were not all that bad for their children because, in the end, the Walls children managed to grow up fairly successful.
            Many times, the living conditions for the Walls family were far from manageable. For instance, in Welch, they lived in a house that was falling apart and had no indoor plumbing. If any employee of social services were to see this house, the children would be immediately removed and put into foster car, which, undoubtedly, seems like the best thing for them at the time. However if the Walls children were to be raised in foster care, not only would the family be separated and torn apart, but the children would not have learned the same life lessons that they did growing up with Rex and Rose Mary. Rex and Rose Mary cared just enough about their children to keep them around, but if it were any worse Child Protective Services could have easily taken their children. Rex and Rose Mary did teach their children a lot about the world and they were very intelligent, but they barely got by on the basic necessities.
            Rex and Rose Mary taught their children many lessons about life and because they moved so much the children were exposed to places that most children have not ever seen and probably will not see. One of the things that Rose Mary taught her children was that “you should never hate anyone, even your worst enemies.” "Everyone has something good about them," she said. "You have to find the redeeming quality and love the person for that" (144). In Arizona, the kids learned about the stars from Rex when he explained which stars were part of constellations. As a special gift, he gave each of the children a star and said that they could have it forever. This was in fact a lie, they could not actually have the star, but the children did not know that and they probably never will. In Battle Mountain, Jeannette learned how to “sink or swim”(Walls 66), literally. Rex teaches Jeannette how to swim by literally forcing her to sink or swim. Rex trained Jeannette to stay afloat so she did not get thrown back into the water. This strategy is representative of Rose Mary and Rex's general approach to parenting. Refusing to coddle their children, they often present them with challenges, some life threatening, that the children are forced to handle.
            When the Walls family moved to Welch, the children really relied on each other to survive. Their parents had become very neglectful towards the children and they were put on the back burner because their own lives were more important than their children’s lives. Rose Mary had gone off to a summer class and came back and only wanted to paint. She did not want to go back to work; all she wanted to do was paint. This also meant that she did not want to cook either. 'Mom didn't like cooking much--"Why spend the afternoon making a meal that will be gone in an hour," she'd ask us, "when in the same amount of time, I can do a painting that will last forever?"--so once a week or so, she'd fix a big cast-iron vat of something like fish and rice or, usually, beans'(56). At this point in time the Walls children became extremely self sufficient.
In the article “What Makes a Good Parent?” Robert Epstein talks about the list of the ten most important qualities parents should have. The parents in The Glass Castle had a very interesting way of parenting that was somewhat successful. Rex Walls rates about a 3 in the realm of parenting. He has a few good qualities about him, but there are more things wrong with his way of parenting than good. He allows for his children to be independent beings and find their own ways to entertain themselves. His children were very self-sufficient and learned how to survive on their own at a very young age. At times, Rex was also very loving and affectionate towards his kids, especially Jeannette. Even though he could not provide for his family consistently he made up for it in other ways. For instance, he took the time to teach the kids about the world and gave them special things, like stars as birthday presents. However, Rex was not the best provider financially, he also drank and was drunk in front of his kids and acted very inappropriately in front of them. Rex and Rose Mary also fought with each other in front of the kids, and that did not exactly give them the best example of being a responsible parent. They should have dealt with their problems in private.
            However, Rose Mary taught the children very well, and gave them the education that they needed to be successful. She also tried to make sure that the children were fed when they had food, and she did the regular things that other mothers do: cleaning, and making sure the children had some sort of clothing on their backs. Rose Mary was also very tolerant. She always supported Rex and his endeavors, even when it was not out of the best interest of their family. She also supported Rex when he said that they had to "skedaddle" and she would pack up the children and made sure that they had the basic necessities to live. However, Rose Mary also neglected her children when she was painting and she was not very good about managing her problems. She depended on the children to help her when she was in need of help. In a way her kids were parenting her instead of her parenting them. The children helped her grade assignments, she slept in and left it up to the kids to get ready to go, and she would escape into her own world to paint pictures. Rose Mary and Rex raised 3 successful children and one "failure" so they were 75% successful in raising their children, so I guess you could say that they ironically did something right.
            When Jeannette moved to the city and her parents followed soon after. She did not want leave them in the dust, but she also did not want to see them leave her life forever. She had said “I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to do whatever I could to take care of Mom and Dad, and part of me just wanted to wash my hands of them”(256). She had also said “I think that maybe sometimes people get the lives they want” (236). Her parents definitely got the lives that they wanted because if they wanted otherwise they would have stayed in one place and committed themselves to one place and not “skedaddled”.
            Often, Parents nowadays are also bad parents. The latest news story that just came out this week said that there had been a nine-year old little girl named Savannah Hardin that had been ran to death by her mother and grandmother for lying about eating a piece of candy. This is what one could say is extreme parenting. This little girl died because she lied about eating candy bar. That is an absolute tragedy. Her Mother and Grandmother were arrested and are being charged with the death of Savannah Hardin. This case is very extreme and this case makes Rex and Rose Mary Walls look like the perfect parents. This case is extremely sad and upsetting, but it validates that there are bad parents in the world, some worse than others.
            In the end, Rex and Rose Mary did somewhat of a good job raising their children and it was good that the children grew up the way they did because it taught them to be independent, self-sufficient, successful human beings. If they were raised any other way they would not be the people that they are today, and Rex and Rose Mary deserve some credit for letting their children be their own individual persons and learn from their own mistakes.
 Works Cited
Walls, Jeanette. The Glass Castle. New York: Scribner, 2005. Print.
Press, Associated. "Savannah Hardin Forced to Run for 3 Hours, Dies; Jessica Mae Hardin and
Joyce Hardin Garrard Charged." WPTV. Channel 5 News, 24 Feb. 2012. Web. 26 Feb. 2012. <http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/national/savannah-hardin-forced-to-run-for-3-hours-dies-jessica-mae-hardin-and-joyce-hardin-garrard-charged>.
Epstein, Robert. "What Makes a Good Parent?" Scientific American Mind, Nov.-Dec. 2010.
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